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I fixed the blower motor! All by myself, even! It was a little cold, but it’s fixed and I can have heat in my car! Proud of myself, I am, yes!

Well. The blower motor is out in my car. It was real fun driving through the white-out snow up from Three Rivers tonight without any heat. But it’s only a $30 part & I can fix it myself.

So Thanksgiving… went up to Grand Rapids Wednesday night, brought Kurt (finally met him) to Diversions. Saw a bunch of people there. Kurt ditched me, sort of, to take his ex-home. Thanksgiving day was kinda boring. My aunt and cousins didn’t show up. I left my Grandma’s once I’d had my fill of football and food, then hung out with Brett, who I knew from GVSU.

The highlight of my holiday was seeing Bad Santa. It’s my kind of Christmas movie.

If you’re looking for Christmas cheer, figure out when Love Actually is playing. Bad Santa is for anyone who has had enough of Christmas carols, artificial goodwill, and It’s a Wonderful Life.

Roger Ebert also gave it three and a half stars.

Josh and I got into a sort of fight tonight. Jay is here and I embarrased Josh but not on purpose. I don’t think he should’ve been embarrased, but I’m sorry I did so. Josh does, however, get rather defensive when it comes to things that happen in front of people he’s trying to… impress himself upon. He’s afraid of what other people will think of him. Not overly-concerned of what people think, not worried, but he seems afraid. It’s not a very good thing. But I’m sure things will work out between Jason and Josh; they seem pretty much made for each other.

I made pies for like a hundred hours tonight/this morning. I loved it, though. It’s so gratifying to make something from scratch… but now I gotta go to sleep! Happy friggin’ tnksgvng! Josh’s new boyfrend Jay is here again. He drove down just to see Josh. I’m way jealous & it makes me feel lonely and unwanted. Oh well.

yet another reason to love Джаш

edge79mi (11:36:46): I need validation
edge79mi (11:36:50): boost my self esteem
torstenvt (11:41:00): hrm
torstenvt (11:41:02): http://validator.w3.org/check?uri=Paul.Pellerito
torstenvt (11:41:22): oops
torstenvt (11:41:30): http://validator.w3.org/check?uri=person://Paul.Pellerito
torstenvt (11:41:53): Oh. It says it can’t validate Person types
torstenvt (11:41:55): Damn.
torstenvt (11:45:19): Do you have two legs, two arms, a head, and a torso?
edge79mi (11:46:38): I think so
torstenvt (11:46:52): Yes or no?
edge79mi (11:46:55): Oui
torstenvt (11:47:29): Does each leg contain a femur, fibula, tibula, and metatarsals?
torstenvt (11:47:51): Do the metatarsals extend to five digits to form a foot?
torstenvt (11:48:59): Does each arm contain a humorus, a radius, an ulna, carpals, and metacarpas extending to five digits to form a hand?
edge79mi (11:49:43): yeah yeah sure, the leg bone’s connected to the hip bone and all that
torstenvt (11:51:12): Does your torso house a backbone protecting a spinal column, and a ribcage enclosing internal organs such as one or two lungs, a heart, a stomach, a liver, optionally an appendix, one or two kidneys, optionally a gallbladder, a bladder, a large intestine, and a small intestine?
edge79mi (11:51:50): sure
torstenvt (11:52:50): And does your head contain a larger-than-expected brain for the size of the head, complete with sensory organs extending to external organs to facilitate sense, such as ears, eyes, a nose, a mouth, in that reverse-proximodistal order?
torstenvt (11:53:38): And does that brain allow sentience?
edge79mi (11:53:51): most of the time
torstenvt (11:54:22): I hereby declare you validated Person 2.0 Transitional
edge79mi (11:56:10):

The accessory fan in the car is working again. Maybe it was too cold. Maybe a bird was stuck in there or something. I dunno. I have to get an oil change and a coolant flush shit done today. That’ll probably be like $100. That’ll suck. Lemme bend over for Uncle Ed.

For the first time in like a year there’s content on my webspace. It even validates for XHTML 1.0 Transitional.

torstenvt (10:51:45): If it were my page, I think I’d go for Strict compliance.
edge79mi (10:52:00): that’s the difference btwn us lol

I like “transitional”. It sort of suits the way my life is right now.

One day I will go all over the code for this site & make it compliant to something. Right now it’s just kinda schleped together. It’s “quick&dirty” compliant.

I found a coupon for Uncle Ed’s online. Cool!

I made this collage of United States flags from my pictures of New York City. I can no longer be called unpatriotic.

This all happened last night. Or rather, this morning: I laid down this afternoon because I had a bit of a headache. Woke up around 8 or so… sort of not what I wanted to do today, but it’s all good. Went to 4th Coast around midnight.

As I walk down the sidewalk I see the footsteps frozen in ice to the pavement. The anonymous record of a short second out of someone’s life as they went from one destination to another. It cannot be extrapolated where the person was going, from whence he or she was coming. It exists as itself, only a footprint on the landscape of living. Our lives are like this: small recordings are made but exist without permanence. Soon the ice will thaw and this tiny record of a life’s moment will be erased leaving nothing but the pavement, cleared for another footprint on another day.

I’m plagued by the possibilities of my own existence. I question if the path I am moving towards is the path I want, if it is a worthy endeavour. Surely anything I choose will be worthy. My search for happiness continues, surrounded by the infinite maybe of my future.

I dropped Josh off at Western. The heater will not come on in my car. The fan doesn’t blow. This is a problem.

Sorry, Brad, I finished the Boddington’s last night.
Then there was pounding. Pounding that wouldn’t stop. The Guy That Fixes Things from the rental agency was here, fixing things.

We finally know the air speed velocity of an unladen swallow.

First snow of the season!

Disturbing thing said by one of the people who live inside my head:

Holy shit, Jonathan Brandis died. I used to jerk off to him when he was on Seaquest.

Comcast Sucks.

I don’t have Comcast, but I’ve gotten almost a hundred junk emails from the @comcast.net domain in the past two days. I sent a note to them.

 *     *     *

Josh has made a new friend. I’m really jealous. Per Josh:

“He has a lot of bonus points. Think of bonus points for guys as coins in Super Mario Brothers. And then in Mario 3 there are the bonus ships entirely full of coins. He’s like that.”

And he is…

Not much else is happening. Josh & I went for a walk and had a good talk, which we haven’t done for awhile. We should probably do it more. I will really miss Josh when we go our separate ways and it won’t be like it is now again.

“Things can only be the same once.” �Milt Ford

And I really miss Dino.

Todd (the librarian) and I met up at Panera bread. We sat and talked and drank coffee for a few hours. Then we came back here and watched The Manchurian Candidate.
then some Moulin Rouge. Then he went home.

Glow�ish.

I like him. I’m just not sure how much. Mostly because I’m not sure of much right now. Just. Not. Sure. Notsure. I have to work all weekend, so I don’t know when we’ll hang out again. I had fun. He said he did, too. Maybe next time we can do something lame like on one of those stupid dating shows.

I emailed the pharmacy coordinator personthingy for this side of the state and told her to keep an eye out for anything that opens up in May. She said she’d keep an eye out for me, although there are no positions available now. May, honey. May. Find me something for May. That’s when I have to move. It’s either that or Ann Arbor/Detroit-ish and go to Eastern. Or quit Meijer entirely (I like how that sort of rhymes) but I don’t really want to do that. Again, the whole uncertainty thing comes back. Maybe I’ll just buy a VW bus and follow Phish around.

Too bad I never really liked Phish all that much.

And I suck at hackey-sack.

Dino finally got ahold of me. Two emails in one day. Charlie said “I love you” to Dino while Dino was visiting Charlie in Florida. Very cool. I’m waiting for the very special must see episode when Charlie moves back to New York City. My favourite part of his email: “Still being dismissed, just quietly. So they moved my office and eventually I’ll just disappear. People will look for me and I’ll be gone.” Right out of Office Space or something.

Ex-boyfriend Todd has my SSN card and my birth certificate. I was looking all over for them before the Stratford trip in August but couldn’t find them. Part of me would like to think that we hid them so it might ruin my trip. Another part thinks that he’s just not that creative. Another part hopes he wouldn’t have been that evil. So I have to get them sometime. And my Barbary Coast playing cards. And I’m going to take my monitor when I move. I was nice and left it with him. But I never said I wasn’t going to take it back. It’s still mine. Or maybe I won’t. I dunno. I guess it’s sort of fun to fight over possessions but it seems rather pointless to me at times. Other times I know I should take it because it’s fucking mine.

The sun is coming up and the birds are chirping. I hate being up before that happens. I have to work at 11. So I need to get some coffee and maybe breakfast and find something to do with my life for the next three hours.

I probably won’t go to Grand Rapids tomorrow. The only thing I really have to do is return Milt’s manuscript, and if things get really desperate I can always send it through the mail. I’ll be up there in a week anyway. And I pretty much have decided to move back there. I just have to find a place to stay and see if I can transfer up there so I can stay with Meijer.

I’m voting for Gore Vidal for President.

From Todd (the librarian) when he should’ve been sleeping:

I’m mentioned in the blog!
Go me, Go me.

Yeah, so he’s cool. Virtually, at least. I shall have to see…

I will not blog what happened with my digital camera. Only that it was unexpected and mildly disturbing and embarrasing for everyone involved. Especially Josh.

This is a really good article about cell phones with something very important to say about our present existence. I definately understand what it’s talking about�especially after being in New York City and talking on the (cell) phone to people in Kalamazoo.

Jay is still working on the bunny bordello. It’s going to look cool when it’s completely done. We’re listening to Rent and I’m waiting to see if Todd (the librarian) is going to log on.

Jay’s building a new home for our little bunny… a regular Bunny Bordello.

[click thumbnails for bigger pics]

Jay got a bunny. It’s cute. It doesn’t smell yet. Makes me think of a nice warm bowl of rabbit stew on a cold winter day.

So I’ve been talking to this guy online lately. I’m rather intrigued. Hope to actually meet him soon. Maybe there is one decent person in this town. Even if his name is Todd.
He’s actually reading this, so I’ll probably get in trouble.

I’m going to Grand Rapids tomorrow, I guess. I was just there a few weeks ago, but I feel the need to check it out again, just to make sure I really want to move back there. Trying to see some people there, but who knows. I tried last time, too. So maybe I’ll just start showing up.

I called Barned & Noble about the Orbital cd I thought I’d ordered last week. Dino played it for me while I was in NYC. It’s the kind of music my brain would play for my heart. But they can’t order it. Well they can. The lady I talked to today (since they never called me back) was like “Oh, it’s for home delivery only. So we can order if for you from Bee en dot com.” I said, “Great, I’ll do that myself. Thanks.” [click]
This item ships in 2-3 days. So it’ll be here in like a week. Hooray for deferred gratification.

Jordan came over again tonight. He was in the paper on Sunday, in his condo with his mom. Kinda cool. He’s cute. Earlier in the day I shaved (after a week that was an event) and cleaned my room and did bunches of laundry. I’m asking for Bed, Bath, and Beyond gift cards for Christmas. From everyone. I want 500 thread count Egyptian cotton sheets for my bed. I refuse to buy them with my own money.

I decided tonight that, since I’ll have to move out by May 1, I’m going back to New York City in April. I’m not sure for how long, but it will probably be to check out some schools and museums and hang out with Dino. Definately hang out with Dino. If he’ll let me come back and if he’s still living there in April. Maybe I can learn some Greek by then. $154 round trip.

Now I’m going to bed. Field trip tomorrow! Unless Todd calls & says he wants to do coffee tomorrow night. Then I might stay in town and go on Wednesday.

Wow! Planning the near future is so exciting!